JESSE MEADE’S CRAFT CORNER OF SORROW

Over the last decade I’ve had about four occasions when I’ve had a pair of pants which needed to be hemmed. So, a month and a half ago I decided that a sewing machine was an absolutely necessary purchase. I chose the top seller on Amazon: the “Sew Advance, Sew Affordable” Brother XL2600i.
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After about a week had passed and I had hemmed all the pants in sight, I began to feel that I needed a more serious project to justify owning such an elegant and versatile machine. I happened to turn my gaze on the new Behringer Eurolive 1320D floor monitor that I had recently purchased and, in a moment that I would soon regret, decided that I both could, and should, make a carrying case for it.H76512000000000-00-500x500
What would follow would be a month of some of the most unpleasant, unfulfilling, and frustrating work that I’ve ever
voluntarily subjected myself to. The first problem I had, and one which I still have, is that I don’t know how to sew. The machine itself isn’t difficult to figure out but, unfortunately, there’s a lot more to sewing than just the machine. My second problem was that even if I had known how to sew, I didn’t know how to make a floor monitor case. So, I went to the internet for answers. Surely, someone out there had already attempted to make one of these themselves, and there would be a detailed, comprehensive set of instructions for me to follow. No dice. Outraged by this glaring lack of available information, I decided that not only would I design and build a case, I would also document the process and share it, so that others might learn from my experience. Pretty great, right? I’m incredibly thoughtful. It’s a curse really.

After weeks of research, fabric sampling, and deep thought I had all the components in place and I began work. About two days in, I gave up on documenting anything and swore that I would never attempt an undertaking of this scale again. Instead of a detailed, comprehensive set of instructions, here are simply some random photos I managed to take, interspersed with some of my own, personal sewing tips:

Tip #1: Measure twice, cut once isn’t good enough. Measure 15 or 20 times, cut once, fuck up, cut again, measure again, cut again, repeat.
photo 1
photo 2
Tip #2: Foam Laminated Ballistic Nylon is a fun fabric to work with if you enjoy crying and cursing God.
photo 3
photo 4
Tip #3: Mitered inside corners. Just don’t bother. If your project has inside corners that need to be covered, just use duct tape, or make something else.
photo 5
photo 4
photo 3
photo 1
photo 1
photo 2
Tip #4 (not pictured): Try forgetting to lower the presser foot on the machine about a thousand times during the course of your project. It causes an incredible mess and brings all forward progress to an absolute halt.
photo 3
photo 4
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2bd918e1-f5dd-4f94-91d4-83cedcd7fb55
52f324e2-76fe-496f-a63e-65d69b8908b6
photo 5
There you have it. I’m sure I’ve given you enough to piece the process together by yourself. 
So, what have we learned from all of this? Don’t do anything yourself that you can afford to pay someone who has the proper training and equipment to do for you. No matter what it is. What are you doing right now? Are you cooking? Stop. You know that casserole is going to taste like shit. Throw it out and go to a restaurant. They have all the stuff there to make it right. It’s a great system. What are you doing with that guitar? Are you trying to entertain yourself? Give it up. You know you suck at guitar. Come pay me to entertain you. I have all the necessary skills and equipment, including this goddamned monitor case. 
December, 2015
Tue, 12/1, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Rachel Hoffman Eugene, OR map n/c
Thus, 12/3, 6:00pm The Brewstation Cottage Grove, OR map n/c
Fri, 12/4, 5:30pm J. Scott Cellars Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 12/8, 9:30pm Jesse Meade’s 3rd Night of Chanukah Extravaganza
w/ Todd Mathis at 5th Street Cornucopia
Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 12/11, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 12/13, 5:00pm Hop Valley Tasting Room Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 12/15, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Amblin Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 12/18, 6:30pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 12/22, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Brandon Olszewski Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 12/25, 10:00pm Jesse Meade’s Christmas Spectacular
at Luckey’s Club Cigar Store
Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 12/27, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 12/29, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
Thu, 12/31, 10:00pm Leading the crowd in “Auld Lang Syne” at mignight
at Luckey’s Club Cigar Store
Eugene, OR map $5
In memory of Allen Toussaint (1938-2015):
IR

Next month I’ll show you the process for making guitar strings at home; starting with the mining of the raw metals right in your own backyard!
 
 
Keep your seams straight,
 
Jesse Meade
CEO/Guy who wonders if members of male sewing unions refer to themselves as ‘Seamster Teamsters’
Meadeworld Entertainment International

THE FALL OF JESSE MEADE

Oh wait, wait, I meant The Autumn Of Jesse Meade. Shoot. Well, anyway, here it is:

November, 2015
Sun, 11/1, 2:00pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 11/3, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Jana Meszaros Eugene, OR map n/c
Thu, 11/5, 6:30pm Willamette Valley Vineyards Turner, OR map n/c
Tue, 11/10, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Aimee Marx Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 11/13, 6:00pm Noble Estate Urban Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 11/14, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 11/17, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Brad Erichsen Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 11/22, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 11/24, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 11/27, 1:00pm Troon Vineyard Carlton Tasting Room Carlton, OR map n/c

“Don’t Be Afraid Of Love”
Written by Oscar Mack, Phil Walden
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Seasonally Yours,

Jesse Meade
CEO / Middle Aged Man Fall / Old Man Winter (in training)
Meadeworld Entertainment International

JESSE MEADE’S FUN SIZE UPDATE
(A.K.A. THE VERY SHORT AND SWEET OF IT)
(A.K.A. I THOUGHT ANT-MAN WAS PRETTY GOOD)

Seasonally relevant salutation section:
Hey everybody! How’s it ghouling?
Attempted comedy section:
I want to be the first jockey to come up the stretch.
Schedule section:
eee

Video section:
aaa

“Corrina, Corrina” – Arr. J. Hurt, Arr. J. Meade
Somewhat amusing, yet ultimately unsatisfying valediction section:
Well, I guess I’ll be (barely) seeing you. 
Take Scare,
Jesse Meade
Little, Teeny, Tiny, Itsy, Bitsy CEO
Meadeworld Entertombment Interslashional 

WHY DID THE RETIRED MARIACHI BAND GET TOP BILLING AT THE CONCERT?

Because they had señor-ity.

September, 2015
Tue, 9/1, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Robert Meade Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 9/5, 3:00pm Iris Vineyards Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 9/6, 3:00pm Pfeiffer Winery Junction City, OR map n/c
Tue, 9/8, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Jana Meszaros Eugene, OR map n/c
Thu, 9/10, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 9/11, 7:00pm Creswell Coffee Co. Creswell, OR map $3
Sat, 9/12, 6:30pm Barrel E18hteen McMinnville, OR map n/c
Sun, 9/13, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 9/15, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Faliesha Linebaugh Eugene, OR map n/c
Thu, 9/17, 6:00pm Hop Valley Tasting Room Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 9/19, 1:00pm Troon Vineyard Carlton Tasting Room Carlton, OR map n/c
Tue, 9/22, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Mariah Moon Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 9/27, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 9/29, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c

“September In The Rain”
Written by Harry Warren, Al Dubin
sitr

Apologetically,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Head “Joke” “Writer”
Meadeworld Entertainment International

JESSE MEADE’S AUGUST 2015 NORTH AMERICAN WEST COAST CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE

Well, if you’re not already sick of me, August is your chance to be. Hey, that rhymes. Someone should do something with that.

August, 2015
Sat, 8/1, 2:00pm 9th Annual Whiteaker Block Party Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 8/2, 6:30pm Willamette Valley Vineyards Turner, OR map $15
Tue, 8/4, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Brad Erichsen Eugene, OR map n/c
Wed, 8/5, 6:00pm Arcane Cellars Salem, OR map n/c
Fri, 8/7, 5:30pm J. Scott Cellars Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 8/9, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 8/11, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Olivia Awbrey Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 8/14, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 8/15, 5:00pm Ninkasi Tasting Room Eugene, OR map free
Sun, 8/16, 2:00pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 8/18, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Amblin Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 8/21 Private Event
Sat, 8/22, 5:00pm Ninkasi Tasting Room Eugene, OR map free
Sun, 8/23, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 8/25, 9:30pm Jesse Meade’s 8 Year Anniversary of Tuesdays in Eugene
at 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha
Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 8/28, 5:30pm J. Scott Cellars Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 8/29, 5:00pm Ninkasi Tasting Room Eugene, OR map free
That’s it. 

Jesse Meade
CEO / Guy who’s too busy to write music industry fiction
Meadeworld Entertainment International

THE BATTLE FOR MEI

Hey, it’s me, I’m back. Since I last wrote to you, things have gotten completely out of hand here at Meadeworld Entertainment International. In a (mostly) bloodless coup, the newsletter department has locked the board of directors in the basement of our world headquarters and taken over operations for the entire company. And worst of all, they didn’t even bother putting out a newsletter this month. So, I’m writing to you right now from inside a cabinet on the 14th floor, which used to be the home of our apparel division. It appears to have been converted into some sort of test kitchen; perhaps from which to launch a Jesse Meade line of frozen foods. Which now that I think about it, is a pretty damn good idea. It also might explain why they chose to leak my secret recipe for Chocolate Chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies last month. They’re slowly trying to associate my name with food instead of music. Well, I won’t stand for it. Here’s the shows I’m playing this month, if I can get out of the building:

Sat, 7/4, 4:00pm Troon Vineyard Carlton Tasting Room Carlton, OR map n/c
Tue, 7/7, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 7/12, 2:00pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 7/14, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 7/17, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 7/18, 2:00pm Iris Vineyards Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 7/21, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 7/25, 7:00pm The Horse Radish Carlton, OR map n/c
Sun, 7/26, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 7/28, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 7/31, 5:30pm J. Scott Cellars Eugene, OR map n/c
I did manage to sneak out late last night and record this version of the incredibly fitting Duke Ellington classic “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore”:
dgama
I hear footsteps coming, I’ve got to go. Hopefully, I’ll talk to you next month.

Stay strong,

Jesse Meade
CEO(temporarily deposed)/Celebrity Chef
Meadeworld Entertainment International

JESSE MEADE’S CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA UPDATE

Note: Jesse Meade remains on forced leave from all newsletter activities. 
Jesse Meade’s June 2015 Concert Schedule
Tue, 6/2, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Rachel Hoffman Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 6/5, 4:00pm Pfeiffer Winery Junction City, OR map n/c
Tue, 6/9, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Lonesome Randall Eugene, OR map n/c
Wed, 6/10, 6:00pm Hop Valley Tasting Room Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 6/14 Private Event
Tue, 6/16, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Jason Eklund and Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 6/19, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 6/23, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Mariah Stevens Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 6/28, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 6/30, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Kevin James Pertinen Eugene, OR map n/c
Jesse Meade’s tribute to the late Ben E. King (1938-2015)
stldfm


Jesse Meade’s recipe for Chocolate Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies

Ingredients
1 1/2 cup butter (softened)
1 1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 cup hot water
1/2 teaspoon salt

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup macadamias 
2 oz. white and/or semi-sweet baking chocolate (shaved) Directions

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Place an empty baking sheet on bottom oven rack (to dissipate direct heat).
  • On separate baking sheet; toast macadamias for 5-7 minutes. Salt lightly, roughly chop and set aside.
  • Cream together butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. 
  • Add egg and then vanilla. 
  • Dissolve baking soda, baking powder and salt in hot water and add. 
  • Stir in flour.
  • Stir in chocolate chips, shaved chocolate and macadamias. 
  • Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
  • Form into medium (approx. 1 1/2 tablespoon) balls and place onto ungreased baking sheet.
  • Bake on middle oven rack for 9-11 minutes or until edges are light brown. DO NOT OVERCOOK.
  • Remove from baking sheet to cool.
The Meadeworld Entertainment International Newsletter staff would like to wish happy June celebrity birthdays to Klaus Wyborny,
Benjamin Vasserman, and Antal Festetics. Long may your stars shine.

A Message From the Meadeworld Entertainment International Board of Directors

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE – 04/30/2015

After his lackluster and thoroughly unprofessional work on last month’s newsletter we, the Meadeworld Entertainment International Board of Directors, have decided that it is in the best interest of the company and it’s stockholders, to relieve Mr. Meade of all official duties not directly related with singing and/or songwriting. The newsletter division of MEI is more than capable of crafting and disseminating a monthly update without Mr. Meade’s assistance, and it is hoped that he will use this opportunity to focus more exclusively on matters of a strictly artistic nature.
We will be revisiting this issue on a regular basis and if at some point in the future we feel that Mr. Meade is capable of once again being a useful member of the newsletter staff, we will consider reinstating him. 
Thank you for your patience and understanding during this transitional period.
Jesse Meade’s May Performance Schedule:
Fri, 5/1, 4:00pm Pfeiffer Winery Junction City, OR map n/c
Tue, 5/5, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Jana Meszaros Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 5/12, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Makara Heart Eugene, OR map n/c
Thu, 5/14, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 5/15, 5:30pm J. Scott Cellars Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 5/19, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Valerie Maxey Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 5/22, 6:30pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 5/23, 4:00pm Pfeiffer Winery Junction City, OR map n/c
Sun, 5/24, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 5/26, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
Jesse Meade’s tribute to the late Percy Sledge (1941-2015):
cm

The MEI Newsletter staff would like to wish you and your families a happy May Day, Star Wars Day, Cinco de Mayo, National Teacher’s Day, VE Day, Mother’s Day, Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day. Please drive safe.

jesse’s whenever whatever concert thing – 4/7/15

i wasn’t even going to bother doing a newsletter this month, but i figured someone might complain if i missed one. so instead, i’m going to do one, but just do a really half assed job of it. i know, some of you are probably saying, “don’t you always do a really half assed job of it?”, not realizing the countless hours of spell and/or fact checking that go in to this thing each month. but this time around, i’ve just given up; much like charlimagne did at the battle of trafalger in 1854. anyway, let’s get on with it.

here’s this month’s schedule:

Sat, 4/4, 8:00pm
Vagabond Brewing Salem, OR map n/c
Tue, 4/7, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Sarah B Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 4/10, 8:00pm First National Taphouse Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 4/14, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Aimee Marx Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 4/17, 7:00pm 7 Devils Brewery Coos Bay, OR map n/c
Sun, 4/19, 2:00pm Sweet Cheeks Winery Eugene, OR map n/c
Tue, 4/21, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Hannah Paysinger Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 4/24, 7:00pm The Old Pad Eugene, OR map n/c
Sun, 4/26, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 4/28, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
some of that might be hard to read since i’m not taking the time i usually do to change the colors. also, some of those shows might have already happened, i don’t know. i’m sure you have a calendar, figure it out yourself.
i didn’t have any ideas for what to with the video series this month, but i noticed that Aretha Franklin’s birthday was a few weeks ago, so here’s me doing one of her songs. happy birthday, Aretha. thanks for helping me piece together some sort of a concept for this.
bily

boom, newsletter. 

catch ya later,

jesse meade
ceo/zzzzzzzz
meadworld ent. etc.

JESSE MEADE’S CONCERT UPDATE – THE MOVIE – 3/1/15

Well, the inevitable has finally happened. The massive success of this newsletter has caught the eye of Hollywood and wheels are currently in motion to bring it’s story to the big screen. When I was first approached by each of the major studios, I was somewhat confused. “Do you want to make a movie about me? Sort of a struggling musician makes it medium type of thing?” I asked. They all informed me that no, that was not what they were interested in. At all. It was the story of the newsletter itself that they wanted to capture. The tale of a humble, monthly update comprised of concert dates and muffin recipes, that has exploded to become, basically, a new bible to millions across the globe. How could I say no? It truly is an inspiring story. Now, we’re still in the early stages of production, so no word yet on who will play me or if, in fact, I’ll be in the movie at all. They’ve already made it clear that I will not be featured on the soundtrack. Someone also briefly mentioned doing the whole thing in 3D CGI. That might be good, but I worry that the heart and soul of the newsletter may be lost if it gets too bogged down with special effects. We’ll see. And I’ll make sure to keep you all up to date. That is after all, the whole point of the newsletter. 

In other, less glamorous news, I’ve got a bunch of shows this month. Here’s what it looks like:
Tue, 3/3, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Amblin Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 3/6, 7:00pm Creswell Coffee Co. Creswell, OR map $3
Tue, 3/10, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Brad Erichsen Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 3/13, 7:00pm 7 Devils Brewery Coos Bay, OR map n/c
Tue, 3/17, 9:30pm St. Patrick’s Day w/ Chip Cohen & Ken Sokolov at 5th Street Cornucopia Eugene, OR map n/c
Fri, 3/20, 9:00pm Opening for the TASTE CD Release at Luckey’s Club Cigar Store Eugene, OR map $5
Sun, 3/22, 5:00pm Zach’s Bistro Newport, OR map n/c
Tue, 3/24, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Jeremy Pruitt Eugene, OR map n/c
Sat, 3/27, 6:00pm Ninkasi Tasting Room Eugene, OR map free
Tue, 3/31, 9:30pm 5th Street Cornucopia w/ Girin Guha Eugene, OR map n/c
Of special note is the St. Patrick’s Day show at Cornucopia, where I’ll be performing all two of the Irish songs I know (and a few others), before handing things over to Chip Cohen and Ken Sokolov. Also, March 20th is my birthday and the band TASTE has been gracious enough to let me open up for their CD release show that night at Luckey’s. 
And what would an update be without a video? Well, it would still be an update, but here’s a video. This is the first entry in my video series that falls under the category of “unreleased and/or forgotten originals” that I had promised. This is my first, and will most likely be my only, songwriting foray into the world of gospel music. Since it wouldn’t really fit on an album of otherwise secular music, I thought I’d share it here.
WGKMN
That’s it for this month. 
And remember, there’s no lettering like newslettering, like no lettering I know,

 

Jesse Meade
CEO/Guy who writes this crap
Meadeworld Entertainment International